Let your anger out, then let it go
by telecasts
Summary: A look inside Aang's head before Katara leaves to find the Southern Raiders. (kind of AU: Aang is 14 and some dialogue is changed) Aangst with some subtle kataangst.


**This takes place in "The Southern Raiders". I guess it's technically an AU since I changed the some dialogue and Aang's age.**

 **I made Aang 14 because I felt it would make him more assertive and confident, like he is in "The Promise".**

 **Reviews appreciated!**

* * *

Aang and Sokka had been sitting behind this rock for nearly two hours now, yet there was still no sign of who they were looking for. Silence had long since settled between them, occasional glances being the only communication they needed. She would come, it was just a matter of when.

Aang focused on his earthbending senses, prodding for vibrations near the 10-ton bison just a few feet from them. Keeping focused was starting to become more of a struggle as time went on and his mind began to wonder. He closed his eyes as his thoughts shifted to a place he often tried to forget.

Raw emotion was like a dagger in his side as he looked down at the remains of Gyatso among the scorched ruins of his home. His mind churned out broken thoughts as he futilely attempted to wake up from this nightmare. He dropped to his knees, holding his head in his hands as he started to shudder with sobs. He pleaded to his desolate surroundings. He would give anything, _anything_ , for just 1 more minute with Gyatso. To just see him smile one more time. To tell him how sorry he was for running away. To tell him how much he meant to him.

But his cries went unanswered.

His whole body ached with raw, unfiltered pain. The pain gave way only to a violent rage that spread outward from the deepest depths of his soul. He felt power seeping in from every direction as his rage grew into hatred, consuming him. His surroundings sped away from him, leaving him alone in an all-enveloping darkness. His tattoos and eyes exploded with light, his body brimming with power and emotion.

 _Those monsters. Who could do this? They did nothing wrong! What did they do to deserve this!_

He opened the flood gates and his rage spilled out in every direction.

 _How DARE they!_

Gale-force winds whipped angrily from the young boy as he made his ascension.

 _I'll wipe them out. All of them. They will pay for this. Every. Last. One._

He watched the ground shrink below him. Energy poured into his being at incredible rates, and he was prepared to use every drop of it. His intensions were unclear even to himself. What would this solve? What would this accomplish? Those questions were swept away by the torrent of rage assaulting every corner of his mind. _Everything in a mile's radius will be ripped to shreds and scattered to the winds. That will make me feel better. That will somehow make this pain stop. That's what I'm supposed to do._

Somehow, amidst the chaos, a small voice reached Aang's ears.

"Monk Gyatso and the other airbenders may be gone, but you still have a family. Sokka and I. We're your family now."

Katara's words cut through the sea of rage, cracking the shell of despair that surrounded Aang's rational thought.

 _What am I doing? I almost killed the only two people I have in this world._

His rage dissipated, giving way to the guilt and despair below it as he descended to the ground once again. The immense power trickled away, leaving the frail, broken body of a 14 year old boy who lost everything and everyone.

Reality came crashing back when Aang felt a hand on his forearm. He looked to his side, meeting Sokka's blue eyes before realizing his own were wet with tears.

"Sorry." Aang said, wiping his eyes and leaning back against the rock. "Bad memory."

Sokka gave him a nod, though his concerned eyes continued to bore into the monk.

Several quiet minutes passed before Aang spoke again.

"You remember when we found those sandbenders in the desert?" Aang said softly, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

"Yeah."

"I thought I would never see Appa again. I felt robbed and hurt and so... angry."

"I know, buddy. But you didn't take revenge, remember?"

"I wanted to, though. When I was there in the Avatar State, I knew what I was doing. I was still in control."

Sokka's eyes widened slightly, though he said nothing.

"I was going to do it. I was going to wipe them out. The only thing that stopped me was Katara." Aang paused, taking a deep breath to calm his shaky voice. "I wasn't thinking. I thought that killing them would somehow make me feel better. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life."

Sokka's mind reeled at the thought of Aang actually killing someone. Beside him sat the single most powerful being in the world. But he was also the most gentle, peaceful person Sokka had ever met.

"If she didn't stop me… I don't think I would be able to forgive myself. I truly believe she saved my life too that day. She saved me from myself." Aang's voice was solemn, his eyes remained on the ground. "Katara isn't a killer. But neither am I."

Sokka's eyes filled with understanding. He knew his sister better than anyone. She was compassionate and caring, yet strong-willed and even stubborn. She could hold a grudge until the spirits died. Sokka originally came to stop Katara because he was worried about her getting hurt. Now he saw why Aang was truly here.

"She was there for me. I have to be there for her." Aang said, turning to look at Sokka.

"You're right. I don't think she'll let you go with her though."

"I know. I don't plan to. This is a decision she has to make for herself. It's just…"

"Zuko."

Aang nodded. "I know he's one of us now, but he just hasn't been through what we have together. It was hard enough for me without someone telling me I _should_ kill those sandbenders. He doesn't know how this will affect Katara. I'm... I'm afraid he's going to make the decision for her."

"Yeah. He's doing this so that Katara will forgive him. But I feel like there's something more. He mentioned his mother disappeared a few years ago. It's like he's trying to live vicariously through Katara by helping her get revenge. Zuko's a good guy, I can see that. But he's not taking this seriously. He's not thinking about what he's putting her through."

Aang looked at Sokka like he'd just sprouted legs on his head.

"Wow, Sokka. I didn't take you as the analyzing type."

Sokka just shrugged.

Silence settled between them once again. It was a few minutes before Aang spoke again.

"If I'm honest, Zuko really got to me yesterday. I'm just trying to help Katara, and he keeps brushing off whatever I say. Like I don't know what she's going through. Like I don't know how it feels to lose someone."

"I guess he just doesn't realize that you've lost more than any of us. I know you don't mean it, but sometimes the whole 'monk' thing comes off as being condescending"

"Yeah… I guess." Aang said, his voice so low Sokka barely heard it.

The two once again fell silent. They remained that way until Aang's feet sensed two people walking toward them.

They emerged from behind the rock, confronting Katara.

"So you were just gonna take Appa anyway?" Aang said sharply.

"Yes." She responded as she continued packing her bags on the bison.

Aang's demeanor softened. He caught Katara's eyes and she paused.

"I'm not going to stop you. This is a journey you have to take. But Katara, please listen to me. When the time comes, let your anger out, and then let it go. Please don't choose revenge. I know you feel, I really do. But revenge will not fix or change anything. It won't quell the pain you feel. Only forgiveness will do that."

She held his gaze for a few more moments before Zuko's voice rang out from behind them.

"Okay, we'll be sure to do that, guru goody-goody"

Aang stiffened as he turned toward Zuko. His stormy gray eyes were intense, his mouth pressed in a flat line as he slowly walked toward the prince. Aang's eyes never left Zuko's as he stood facing him, just inches away. The monk took a deep breath, clenching one fish while he brought the other up to point at Zuko's chest.

"Don't you dare think for a second that I don't know what loss feels like." Aang said, bitterly.

Zuko's felt his chest tighten. Despite knowing Aang's gentle nature, he felt a prickle of fear as The Avatar stared directly through him.

"Whatever happens, know this; in the end this is Katara's decision to make. No one else's." Aang lowered his voice, so that only Zuko could hear. "You better make sure nothing happens to her. You started this, now see it through."

Aang turned on his heels to face Katara and Sokka, both of whom were staring at him. He gave Katara a small nod which she returned before climbing on Appa's head.

Zuko, a little dazed after seeing a side of Aang that no one else has, walked briskly to the bison to hide the slight shaking in his step.

Aang and Katara shared another glance as Zuko climbed aboard the saddle.

"Thanks for understanding, Aang." She said before sending Appa skyward and beginning their journey.

Aang and Sokka sat down on the edge of the nearby cliff in silence.

Sokka gained new kind of respect for Aang that night.


End file.
